The Big Sexy Archive

Get weekly thought-provoking articles that question the status-quo
(and question questioning the status-quo).

 

Prefer audio? Me too. I read every article and make a podcast. It’s like an audioblog.

2017

August
3   I’m Cycling from Vancouver to San Diego [2-Month Sabbatical]

July
26 You Can Always Walk Away
19  Relationships Are Really Really Really Really Really Fucking Important
12  Dating Beyond Gender
5    I Wish We Would Stop Saying “You Can Have It All”

June
28  I Would Fall In Love With My Ex-Wife Again In A Heartbeat
21  What I Believe Makes America Great 
14  The Self-Righteousness of Minimalism and Vagabonding
7    The Magic of Slowing Down

May
31  The Subtle Shift That Causes Friction in Long-Term Relationships
24  A Minimalist Love Song [Song]
17  You’re Busy Because You’re Afraid to Change Your Life
10  A Religion of One [Poem]
3    A Bro’s Guide To Feminism

April
26  Why Nuanced Conversation About Consent Is So Hard
19   5 Not-Shitty Reasons Men Should Take It Up The Ass
12   Why I Love and Hate Being Friends with Entrepreneurs
5    An Ode to Space [Poem]

March
29  How To Transform Jealousy Into Excitement
22  In Defense of Millennials
15  The Most Un-Romantic Marriage Advice Ever
8   The World Is Inside You [Poem]
1    You’re Not a Bad Person, You Just Have Great Taste

February
22  I’m Triggered That You’re Triggered That I’m Triggered
15   4 Relationship Lessons From 4 Years of Marriage
8    Why Understanding Privilege is Essential to True Consent
1     Why Tantra and Polyamory Don’t Mix

January
25  The Fetish of Consistency
18  How To Travel Indefinitely With A Normal Backpack
11   The Purpose of My Travels
4    I’m Not Changing a Damn Thing in 2017

2016

December
28  2016 Annual Review
21   A Minimalist Christmas Poem
14   The Unexpected Reason I Can Afford an Adventurous Life
7     5 Reasons a Feminist Is Sexy

November
30   It’s Not Okay To Be Silent Anymore
23   I’m Afraid of Being Gay
16   Art is Disagreement
9    On Being A Man [Poem]
2    The Hardest Thing About Professional Blogging

October
26  I Promise, It’s Not Lame to Ask A Woman for Consent
19   Traveling Sucks Too
12   Communication Is My Fetish
5    What Music Is Really About

September
28  This Is For Me
21   In Defense of Pick Up Artists
14   The One Question No One Asks On A Date (But Should)
7     Loneliness Is My Spiritual Practice

August
31   Fighting Against Something Also Supports It
24  There’s No Such Thing as a Failed Relationship
17   You’re Perfect Just the Way You Aren’t
10  How I Define a Successful Relationship
3    Don’t Follow Your Heart

July
27  We’re Unhappy Because We Try to Win a Shitty Game
20  I’m Afraid of My Truth
13   Love + Drugs
6    On Personal Branding and the Addiction to Self-Importance

June
29  My Wife Is Not My Therapist
22  Yes I Would Be A Good Dad, and No I Don’t Want To Have Kids
15   Insecurity as a Gateway to Connection
8    The Death and Rebirth of My Marriage
1     Ego Makes Intimacy Possible

May
25  Breaking the Gender Code
18  This is Me, This is Enough
11   I Don’t Eat Animals Because I Won’t Eat My Dog
4    How the Manifesting Generation is Collectively Killing Our Self-Esteem

April
27  Here’s a New Way to Look at Life Purpose
20  5 Things I Wish They Told Me When I Started Life Coaching
13   Bernie Is My Girl
6    Lonely Is The New Normal

March
30  I Hope You Give Up On Love
23  How Your Addictions Can Be Good for Productivity
16  Why Most Relationship Experts Are Completely Wrong About Polyamory
9    Your Life Is Always on the Right Track
2    I’m Afraid My Wife Will Die

February
3    February Sabbatical: Why I’m Taking One Month Off

January
27  The Real Reason People Join the Military and Go To War
20  The Simple Key To Relaxation
13   The Secret to Happy Relationships I Learned From Jesus
6    Why Artists Fail, Go Broke and Die Unfulfilled

2015

December
28  30 Ridiculously Simple Ways To Make Your Life Better
21  2015 Annual Review
14  How To Get a $65,000 Loan Back From Your Friend
7    5 Simple Questions To Find Creative Work You Love

November
30  Jesus Loves Orgasms
23  You Don’t Need To Save The World To Feel Like You Made A Difference
16  I’m Struggling Not To Sell Out
9   Having an Intention vs Needing a Strategy
2    What I Mean When I Say I’m in an Open Relationship

October
26  The Inconvenient Truth About Legacy
19  How To Find Your Passion Instantly
12  Running Out Of Money As An Adventure
5    Virtual Exchange Program: Geography Class for the 21st Century

September
28  All Emotions Are Created Equal
21  What To Do When I Die
14  How Indulging Perfectionism Makes Me A Better Writer
7    All Perspectives Are True

August
31   Life Is A Carnival of Experience
24  Whatever You Do With Your Life Is Wonderful
17   Maybe You’re Not So Fucking Special
10   Are You Really In Control of Your Life?
3     A Goal Is Something You Don’t Want To Do

July
27  The Most Frustrating and Beautiful Day of My Life
20  On Breaking Up
13   You Don’t Want It Bad Enough, and That’s Okay
6    4 Habits of Highly Effective People Who Are Never Satisfied

June
29  How To Touch Someone’s Heart
22  The Benefits of Comfort and Security for a Creative Life
15   An Encyclopedia Contains No Wisdom
8    All Affirmations Are False
1     Why I Liquidated My Retirement Account and Bet On Myself

May
25  The Audacity of Giving Yourself Permission
18  Doing Your Best, Even When It Sucks
11   On Art and Making Money
7    Love is Either a Daring Adventure or Nothing At All
4    The Joy of Missing My Wife

April
27  On Earthquakes and Feeling Helpless
20  The Real Difference Between Traveling and Vacationing
13   The Commodification of People
6    The Beauty of Distraction-Free Reading

March
30  Personality as a Substitute for Courage
23  My Wife Talks to Elephants
16  Gurus Are Just Like You
9    You Don’t Need To Figure Out Where Your Life Is Going
2    Why I’m Never Ever Buying a House Again

February
23  I Don’t Own My Wife
16  Why Athletes Make Terrible Husbands
9   My Life in Four Minutes
2   The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do For A Woman In Bed

January
26  The Wisdom of Paula
19  Please Stop Believing People Who Say You Are Fucked Up
12  Create, Ship, Repeat
7    Hail To The King
5    3 Things I Wish People Knew About Open Relationships

2014

Everyone Has Money Problems (And Why That’s Reassuring)
What If Every Day Was Sunday?

On Writing

3 Rules Not to Live By

When It Might Be Time To Fire Your Therapist
Your Personality Is Bullshit
6 Things I Realized About The Naval Academy After I Got Out
Please Believe In Me
My Relationship Sucks, and So Does Yours (Sometimes)
Stay on the Train
Being Married is Killing My Relationship
The Peculiar Reason That Men (and Women) Are Afraid Of Deep Relationships
Why Sex Educators Struggle To Talk About Money
My Wife is a Terrible Piano Player

2013

7 Things Musicians Wish Club & Bar Owners Knew
The Profound Importance of Courage
Everything I Write Is Bullshit
The Biggest Myth About Dating
How Allowing Yourself To Feel Horrible Might Change Your Life
Doing What You Love Won’t Make You Happy
The Beauty of Trial and Error
3 Myths About Dating at The Naval Academy
Stop Blaming Men: Tough Love Advice for Women
How to Pick Up Men Without Being Aggressive

2012

The Secret to Having Amazing Hands
Letter from My Unborn Son
The Paradox of Happiness
On Being Superman
Understanding Your Masculine and Feminine Side
The Bad Habit I Took Away from the Naval Academy
Why You Need to Struggle
A Letter to Parents on Christmas

2011

The Secret to Getting More Tips and Happiness in the Service Industry
38 Things I Wish They Told Me at The Naval Academy
What I’ve Learned About Happiness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1982

October
10  This World, Again?