Dude, listen up.
In fact, take Kanye out of your ear buds for just a few minutes — cause what I’m about to tell you will change your life. But before I do — I want you to know it might be a little different than what you’re used to hearing.
I’m gonna tell you how totally awesome feminism is.
Okay so maybe you’re like me and your initial reaction to feminism was an eye roll and the thought “who gives a fuck” — I get it. Some of the ways feminism is presented can be annoying.
Some feminists hate men and some of them are co-opting feminism to take out anger for their Dad, but most feminists are incredibly intelligent, self-aware women who want the best for dudes like you and me. Trust me on this.
In fact, let me drop some knowledge on you that most men totally miss. Feminism equally benefits men and women, and when feminists hit the streets — they are working to create the kind of cultural change that not only gives women equal rights and equal standing in society, but that creates a world where everyone wins, including men.
Okay, that might have sounded a little cliché so let me just boil this down to something that we all care about.
More Feminism = More Sex
And better sex too.
Let’s use the simple example of slut shaming. Slut shaming is anything that perpetuates the backwards-ass culture that says a woman who has sex when she wants and expresses her sexuality freely is somehow less desirable.
It’s everything from calling a woman names like “slut” or “whore” to making comments implying a woman dresses like a “slut” or simply judging a woman based on how many sexual partners she has had.
Now on the surface you might think — Hey Dave, wait a sec — how does that negatively affect men? Isn’t that about helping women feel less shame?
Quit being so short-sighted.
This type of shitty conversation creates a culture where women are made wrong for following their desires, which leaves them wanting to have less sex — and guess who they will be having less sex with?
When you slut shame a woman it’s like taking a gun, pointing it at your dick and pulling the trigger. She gets fucked, and you don’t. Everyone loses.
Fortunately feminists are working to reverse slut shaming by standing up for a woman’s right to do whatever, and whoever the fuck she wants — and that means feminists are working to make more sex happen for you.
They are literally marching in the streets to get you laid, and you don’t realize it because you feel “threatened” by them, or you think “it’s no big deal”.
Come on bro, wake the fuck up.
Okay let’s move on to something else feminists love.
Planned Parenthood = Better Sex
It occurs to me as ridiculous that there aren’t more men standing up for this organization.
Not only are they helping you prevent unplanned pregnancies (18 years — remember that Kanye song?) but they make everyone feel safer about sex through STI testing and improving conversations about consent. Oh, and they give out free condoms. Any idea why they do that?
Hint: It’s not because they hate men.
They are literally paving the way for you to have better sex. It’s the equivalent of your buddy inviting you over to his house and saying “hey dude, meet my hot friends Jenni and Leslie, they want to have sex with you”.
Planned Parenthood is the best thing that happened to your dick since you found that stash of Playboys in your Dad’s closet, so quit being an asshole and start realizing that standing up for women’s sexual health is the best thing you could possibly do for your sex life.
Consent = Threesomes
Oh there’s that fucking word again — consent.
I know, right? When will people shut up about this? If only we could all just go back to having below-average sex and hating each other the next day, right?
Consent is literally the best thing since beer koozies, but instead of keeping things cold — it makes things hot. Really fuckin’ hot.
The reason is — great sex only happens when people feel safe, and safety is created through communication. Oh, and you know what else happens when you get good at communication? I’ll give you a hint — it rhymes with “meesomes”.
You guessed it. Fivesomes.
Oh but you don’t give a fuck about any of that right? In fact, I imagine you see enough threesomes on PornHub that you don’t really want a real one, right?
Or maybe you’ve had a threesome but found that not everyone ended up happy about it. Is that cool with you? I mean, at least you got to stick your dick in two chicks, right?
Let me just put it this way.
If you haven’t started giving a shit about communication when it comes to things like consent, her feelings and safety — you are having shitty sex and you probably don’t even know it.
In fact, not only are you having shitty, fast-food sex — but you’re scratching and clawing for it like a starving man begs for scraps from McDonalds.
Once you learn how to actually speak your desires with women and listen to theirs, once you realize that it’s your job to make someone feel safe before you enter them, and once you welcome discussions about consent with open arms, you might find that instead of begging for Burger King you’re getting a five-course meal served to you for free, whenever you want it.
That’s because there’s something else about feminists that you don’t realize.
Feminism = Pleasure
Unlike the stereotype doled out by men who are more interested in hurting other people than experiencing love — feminists are not cold-hearted, sexless women. Oh no my friend, they are actually more awake to their sexual desires, thanks to the fact that they don’t think it’s wrong for them to seek their own pleasure.
I know that might sound weird that someone wouldn’t seek their pleasure, but that’s because you and I are men, and we were brought up to do just that, and women were conditioned to put our pleasure first. But don’t worry, you’ll learn more about in the clutch follow up article — An Awakened Bro’s Guide to Feminism.
So at this point you may be asking yourself the obvious question.
Bro — If feminism is so good for men and their sex lives, how come more of them don’t support it?
I’m glad you asked, because maybe now you’re ready for the hard truth. But don’t say I didn’t warn you — because this shit ain’t gonna be easy to swallow.
Are you ready?
The men who hate feminists or resist their message either don’t understand it or are more interested in power and control than sex and connection.
Kind of makes sense doesn’t it? I mean, after everything you’ve read here, how could someone who loves sex be in any way opposed to supporting something that will give them more of it?
For thousands of years men have used things like slut shaming and patriarchal propaganda to keep women docile and compliant but that era is nearing an end — and thank God.
If history has taught us anything it’s that domination and control will produce pyrrhic victories at best. Either everyone loses or everyone wins, and especially when it comes to sex, it’s kind of fucking essential to have women involved unless you’re willing to start giving out bro-jobs and banging your frat buddies. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
So from one dude to another, please — stop hating on the work that feminism is doing, because we need it — and by “we” I mean you and me, because it benefits us in ways we may never fully realize.
And to take it a necessary step further, it’s time we as men joined the fight, because women can’t do it alone. Some of them have been marching in the streets for their entire lives while we’ve been watching comfortably from the sidelines — so we’re pretty damn-well rested.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t mind getting a little dirt on my hands if it’s important enough — and in case you haven’t noticed — this is a pretty big fucking deal today.
So pick up a sign, write some meaningful shit on it and let’s fucking do this.
Got something to say? I’m listening. Click here to comment on the Facebook thread.
Want to spend a weekend with a bunch of other progressive, sex-positive homies?
Join me in Southern California for the 3rd annual IntimacyFest on June 15-18.
Come find out at IntimacyFest, happening June 15-18