Jesus Loves Orgasms

Lately I’ve been thinking about how our society has been set up to shame women who like sex.

I’m sure we’ve all thought about this, the double standard that exists where a man can sleep with a lot of women and be celebrated while a woman sleeping with a lot of men is shunned. 

It’s ridiculous, but that’s actually not what I’m really interested in talking about. I’m baffled about why we as men set up society this way, and yes I’m assuming that men were the ones who made these rules. Did it ever occur to us that imposing these morals would result in us having less sex with less women? 

I have to believe that there were some men at that had some foresight and spoke up. Maybe those guys would have said…

Hey everyone, what if instead of shaming women for having sex with lots of men, we made them think it would get them into heaven?

We’re making up the stories anyways, why not make up stories that result in us having more sex? Who wouldn’t want that?

Why wouldn’t we use stories to help us?

Here is a good example.

Every year there is a new study about how nutrients in a man’s semen speed up a woman’s metabolism. Let’s face it, that is an awesome, totally made-up fact, and I’m almost positive there is a team of guys with lab coats somewhere giving each other high-fives when it gets published.

Good for them.

Are they brainwashing thousands of women into embracing a more sex-positive way of living? Sure they are. Does it make relationships happier? It certainly doesn’t hurt.

I just wish that thousands of years ago we could have written a better story. Instead of a woman going to hell if she had sex before marriage, what if we said that orgasms are God’s favorite way of saying hello? Or maybe that being with multiple partners is what Jesus would have wanted? 

Thou shalt not possess thy wife.
Thou shall experiment sexually before marriage.
Jesus loves orgasms.

Amen.

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