Let me see if I get this right…
You don’t like that someone else is triggered because you judge their upset as trivial and meaningless.
Then you call them out and become visibly agitated by the fact that they’re triggered. Now you’re triggered that they’re triggered.
Hang on a sec…
You don’t like that they get triggered over little things.
Then you get triggered over a little thing?
Let me break this down for anyone who hasn’t got it yet.
If you get upset and emotional over someone else getting upset and emotional you are a fucking hypocrite!
Oh boy — now I’m triggered over you getting triggered over someone getting triggered. I’m sorry, does that trigger you?
Now you’re triggered that I’m triggered that…
Well, you get it.
This is the problem. The cycle never ends and we can’t see it because we’re in denial of the fact that we’re participating in and perpetuating the very thing that we’re trying to stop.
I don’t want to be the one who is triggered (a word only sensitive people use) cause “I’m fine” so I accuse, blame and put all the attention on other people, all the while holding my breath, seething with rage and feeling my heart pump faster and faster.
Maybe the people who call out special snowflakes are just as special. Wouldn’t that be a terrible bit of irony, huh?
It’s almost as if the people we hate the most are actually us in disguise.
Oh shit! Too soon? Should I have couched that truth nugget with some story-telling and vulnerability? Nah, fuck it — you can handle it right? I mean after all, you’re all about the “truth” right? You don’t pussy foot around like all those sensitive fucking people because you know just what to do with those pesky emotions… stuff them down and never let anyone see them.
So what do we do about this victimization race-to-the-bottom? We could keep doing what we’re doing which is choose sides and make other people the problem, or we could just stop defending ourselves.
Thankfully, we’re all getting a masterclass in “how to defend yourself” by our orange Defender-In-Chief and his staff of playground bullies.
There’s no better way to let people know you’re triggered than by ruthlessly defending yourself.
And just so people don’t think that I’m picking on Trump-supporters too much (although I am), it’s worth mentioning that it takes two to tango. Defense is the first act of war and we always always always have the choice to start a war with someone once they attack us.
It doesn’t matter what someone throws at us, if we don’t defend ourselves the conversation will end. Trying to fight with someone who isn’t defending themselves is like starting a fire without anything to burn.
And the best part? We can stop fighting any time we want.
Does that mean I think we should stop protesting? Stop standing up for what we believe in? Of course not. But we need to remember that starting a war might feel good in the beginning, but it won’t move anything forward.
But don’t take my word for it.
Historically, non-violence has a great track record. That’s why we still talk about leaders like Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela. They chose non-violence, otherwise known as “not defending yourself”. It’s that simple. You can be triggered that someone else is triggered, or you can simply stop and not react.
So the next time you want to accuse someone of being a special snowflake, or vilify the person accusing someone of being a special snowflake — do yourself a favor.
How do you stop yourself from loving people fully?
Come find out at IntimacyFest, happening June 15-18