The End of the Internet

This is it.

You’ve reached the end of the internet.

There are no links on this page. There is no menu, no notifications, and nowhere to go. It’s been quite a ride. You’ve emailed all the emails, you’ve scrolled all the scrolls and you’ve clicked all there is to click on.

Now here we are. You and I, holding hands together at the end of the internet, staring off into the abyss.

That’s it. The internet has ended.

Wait… is that a sense of longing I detect?

Yearning?
Wistfulness?

You love the internet, don’t you? You’re such a softie, I knew it. Me too. Even for all the ways capitalism has ruined it, the internet we love is still here, at least today — and you, my beautiful friend, have reached the end of it.

“But Dave! There’s more internet!”

I hear your objection, but unfortunately you’re wrong. The rest of the internet is just robots pretending to be humans. Nothing is real anymore. This is the end of the internet for humans.

The robots (and Mark Zuckerberg) have finally taken over and erased all the humanness from the internet, making us quirky bloggers null and void.

It’s been fun y’all, but now it’s over.

Hopefully you’ve been enjoying this song (if you can’t hear it your sound may be turned down or you may have auto-play blocked). It’s by The Doors. That was a band who played instruments and recorded on tape. There were no computers involved in the making of this song.

May I recommend something? Since you’ve made it this far, and are hopefully listening to this epic song, maybe just close your eyes and listen. If you can put on better speakers or nice headphones, do that, but just listen to it. Lay back, disconnect from screens for a while, and get lost in the music.

I hope you enjoy this song.

This is the end.