Maybe You’re Not So
 Fucking Special

August 17, 2015

Maybe you’re not so special.

I get it. Everyone is different, everyone has their own gift and everyone is a unique manifestation of the divine blah blah blah… that’s also true, but sometimes we take this too far.

Lately, this idea of two people being “twin flames” keeps popping up on my Facebook news feed. I decided to google it and find out what people actually mean. Apparently a twin flame relationship is one where two people come together that are two halves of a soul.

If like me you’re wondering — “aren’t souls already complete?” See this confusing definition that google gave me.

It is said that Twin Flames, also called Twin Souls, are literally the other half of our soul. Each of the Twins is a ‘complete’ soul in and of itself; in as much as we can describe a part of the whole as being distinctly ‘complete’.  But together both souls create something more.¹

This person uses the phrase “literally the other half of our soul” then goes on to describe why it’s not actually the other half. That is literally ridiculous.

The problem I have with the idea of twin flame relationships is it’s another way we make ourselves believe we’re more special than we are. When we think our relationship was divinely orchestrated to complete a union of souls, what about all those other non-twin flame relationships? Are those people less special than you?

Everything Is Sacred… But I’m Just Saying That

This is the issue I have with so many spiritual people, they break their own rules (and yes, I break my own rules too). We preach “everything is sacred” while in the same breath creating hierarchies like the notion of a “twin flame” relationship vs a regular-old relationship.

Have I had experiences of meeting someone and thinking to myself “I feel like I’ve known you for my entire life”? Yes I have. In fact, I love those feelings, but when my mind starts drawing conclusions like “this is the one” or “this is my soul’s lost half” I remind myself that I’m also experiencing a rush of dopamine to my brain, and in that moment I’m experiencing the equivalent of tripping on cocaine.

What We Might Be

Last year I spent nine incredible days at the Imfolozi game reserve in South Africa, living in the bush with seven other people, two highly trained guides and Anna Breytenbach, who is the woman from a documentary called “The Animal Communicator” and featured in this very moving clip of her communicating with a black panther, which has been viewed over 4 million times on YouTube.

It was the most eye opening experience of my life, and besides the animal communication, which was extraordinary and beyond words, I also learned something from being in direct contact with wild animals, and being a part of nature, not just seeing it through glass at a zoo.

I saw that we as humans are constantly telling ourselves the lie that we are somehow more special than animals. I saw that we have this notion of a food chain, but instead of a chain that forms a circle, we have it as a straight line, with us at the top.

Even some eastern religions use this as a model for reincarnation. They conveniently place “human” at the end of the line, and animals get to move up through lifetimes to finally become human, as if it were some sort of Food Chain CEO position. Isn’t it a bit ironic that the people who made up the food chain also placed themselves at the top?

Worm Food and Carbon Dioxide Converters

One of the things that struck me as I walked through the bush was the way that every animal, plant and insect had a purpose. We rarely saw bones because even those got eaten by hyenas. Nothing was wasted, and the food chain wasn’t a straight line, it was a circle. That naturally led me to ask the question “where do humans fit in”?

I thought about all our contributions to the world and tried to justify those but the farther I zoomed out, the more insignificant we seemed. Does the earth really care that we invented the iPhone, cured Polio or walked on the moon? Not that I could see. Then I looked on a more basic level, and I realized we were only really good for a few things.

We convert carbon dioxide, and eventually become worm food.

And the irony is, some of us don’t even become worm food. We cremate our bodies or put ourselves in boxes in an attempt to keep insects out. That’s kind of funny when you think about it. Hey, at least we convert carbon dioxide, right?

You’re welcome, trees.

The Freedom of Being Ordinary

We as humans are constantly striving to be extra-ordinary, and according to a recent poll I made up, 94% of humans I know say they are above average. What if we’re striving to be something we’re not?

What if we just relaxed into the truth of the fact that we are one of 7,360,424,983 humans on a planet with 150,000,000,000,000 lbs of living things (biomass) also inhabiting this earth, which has been around for approximately 4,543,000,000 years.

When looked at from a wide enough lens, our lives are ultimately insignificant and meaningless. But there’s good news.

The cool thing about being human is we get to make up shit. We make up stuff like life-purpose, we make up stuff like twin flames and we tell stories about it, because it makes our existence more fun. The problem happens when we talk about our stories like they are real, and then someone else hears it, puts it in a book and starts a religion around it.

Is Mister Rodgers an asshole for convincing kids that they’re special, and starting their egos down a path of constantly seeking validation for their otherwise worthless existence? No, because being special is half of the story. The other half is realizing that your life’s value can ultimately be summed up by this simple act.

Breathe in oxygen.
Breathe out carbon dioxide.


Life purpose complete.


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